What Is Intentional Hosting And What Does It Mean?

If you’ve been following At The Lane for awhile, or if you just stumbled across us, it’s pretty easy to see our primary focus is on intentional hosting. We are allllllllllllll about it. If we aren’t hosting an intentional gathering or helping others host an intentional gathering, we are thinking about intentional gatherings. And that’s the big secret: intentional hosting just means thinking about your gathering.

That’s it! That’s all intentionally hosting really means. Intentional gatherings are just gatherings that someone took the time to put some thought into. Sounds simple right? It is! Intentionality is literally defined as “doing something on purpose” and you can’t do something on purpose if you haven’t spent time thinking about it. So the same goes for hosting a gathering! Because there really is a difference in gatherings that have some thought behind them and the ones that don’t. Here’s what I mean…

Let’s say you want to have some people over for a dinner party. You don’t want it to be anything fancy, you aren’t a good cook, you don’t have enough dishware that all goes together, and you really don’t have the time to even plan a party. So does this mean you won’t be able intentionally host this dinner party? NOPE. Gathering intentionally has nothing to do with pretty tablescapes and perfectly timed meal courses, but it has everything to do with putting thought into the gathering. For example, think about where your guests will enter your home and how they can immediately feel welcomed. Maybe you have a dedicated place for purses and jackets, and to make it obvious that people can throw their purses and jackets there, you go grab your own purse and jacket and put them there so your guests immediately know what to do. BOOM! Intentionality. Or maybe you have music playing before guests arrive so they can feel the tone of the dinner as soon as they walk in. Maybe you hang a welcoming wreath on the door or hang a sign that says “Welcome to my totally casual dinner party” so people don’t accidentally knock on the wrong door and/or wander into the wrong apartment. Or maybe you have someone posted at the door to help greet and guide your guests in! By having someone there (even if it’s not you/the host!), you intentionally thought about your guests and their needs. Any one (or all) of those small things will set a part your intentional dinner party from a regular dinner party. Because you took a little bit of time and thought about the guests and specifically, how they would feel arriving to your gathering.

Now let’s talk about an example of intentional hosting in a bigger way! Maybe you and your co-workers work remotely in different states, but you’ve really been wanting to get to know them outside of work. Obviously you can’t go grab drinks after work or invite them over for a game night… So you decide to have a virtual dinner party once a month! Maybe you switch up cuisines each month and everyone shares something they’ve learned about that particular culture. Or you do a “postmates party” and have each person order another person a dinner to be delivered to their house, then you all sit and eat in front of the computer together and share what you ordered for that person and why! You are now hosting an intentional gathering because you have put thought into the who, what, where, when and why of your gathering. It only took a few minutes, but you still set aside time to intentionally think about this gathering and it’s purpose.

Now, not every last detail needs to be intentionally thought of in order for it to be an intentional gathering (that would get overwhelming FAST). But if you would like to be an intentional host, I recommend setting aside some time (honestly, even 15 minutes can be plenty of time) and thinking about a few different ways and areas you can focus on to make your gathering an intentional one. Think about what your purpose is in throwing this gathering and how that purpose can be executed. Maybe they’re big ways (creating a monthly remote dinner party to get to know your coworkers) or small ways (having an obvious area for coats and purses so guests know what to do and feel at ease as soon as they walk through the door). Either way, doing so will create a gathering that’s based in intention. And that’s what intentional hosting is all about!