Why the table matters more than what or where it is

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about gatherings, parties, events, hangs and get-togethers. I’ve thought about what makes them memorable and what makes them forgettable. What leaves me craving more nights like that or what makes me feel like I didn’t need to leave the comfort of my bed to attend that. And while there are a lot of things that go into making a gathering (of any kind) worth it to me, the thing I come back to time and time again is the table.

Now I could get all metaphorical and talk about how a table serves the people around it just like a host serves its guests. How a table creates a neutralizing environment and equal space for people. How everyone, no matter the political party they support, job title they have or the emotional load they’re carrying, recognizes what a table is and the purpose it serves. But I think it’s much simpler than that.

I think it comes back to a table being where life just happens.

It’s where you do your homework after school. It’s where the family gathers for both the casual Sunday night meal and the marathon of a Thanksgiving meal. It’s where you cried late at night wondering how you’re ever going to pay off those bills. It’s where the team hangs out after the game is over. It’s where you have the greatest first date and the worst first date. It’s where that million dollar idea popped into your head. It’s where you spilled spaghetti sauce on your great grandmothers tablecloth. It’s where you laughed so hard you spit out your drink. It’s where you listened to each others stories, the funny ones and the vulnerable ones. It’s where you sat down and ate a meal.

And when I really stop to think about it, I never remember what the table actually looked like. I don’t remember if it was made of wood or plastic, if it was painted a bright blue or a rustic white, if it was square, rectangle or round. It doesn’t matter to me if it was a long crowded restaurant table or a low coffee table in a friends living room. I don’t care if it was a piece of plywood sitting on top of some stools or the most beautiful hand-crafted table I’d ever seen. I just remember it was a table. 

Because whether it’s make-shift or more expensive than my rent, a table creates the truest feeling of familiarity. No matter where I am, who I’m with or what I’m doing, if I see a table, I know I’m supposed to gather around it. Maybe I’m supposed to pull up a chair, or maybe I’m supposed to plop down on the floor beneath it. Honestly I may be just supposed to stand around it and snack on the chips and dip! But I know the universal truth of a table is to gather around it. 

This is why, no matter the type of gathering I’m hosting, I always have a table. Whether it’s a sit down dinner or a happy hour, there is always something for people to gather around. Remember in Friends when Joey said “You don’t own a TV?! What’s all your furniture pointed at?”. It’s the same thing for a gathering, a table is what all your guests are pointed at gather around. 

And the beauty of this is, it doesn’t matter how much money or space you have, you can always have a table. Even if it’s a foldable card table, an old door thrown on top of cement blocks or a table that pops out of the wall murphy-bed style, it still counts!

It truly doesn’t matter what you use or where you put it, a table will always invite others to gather.