How To Plan A Gathering (and stick to it!) - Part 2

This post is part of a series. To read the rest of the posts in the series click here!

One of the first things I do when I start to plan a gathering (of any kind) is spend some time thinking about my strengths, personality, schedule and energy, specifically as they each apply to hosting. This may sound trivial, but honestly knowing yourself is one of the most valuable assets any host can have. And even though I know myself pretty well and have hosted many many gatherings over the years, I still genuinely take a beat to ask myself, what are some things about myself that really cater to being a good host? 

For me, I’ve learned my southern hospitality, creativity, organization, excitement in encouraging others, love of deep conversation and eye for design have really all come in handy as a host. My personality tends to lean introverted but I crave harmony and have a real deep love of quality time. So then I’ll try to focus on ways I can bring deep conversation into my gathering, or areas I can design that will bring me joy when my introvertedness gets exhausted by all the deep conversations ;). For you it may be your social butterflyness or your natural ability to read a room. Or maybe you really thrive in a quiet environment and can come alive around a table of 4. Perhaps your strength lies in your cooking skills or baking abilities, and throwing together a whole meal is no problem. Or maybe spreadsheets are your JAM and even just the thought of getting organized with 10 different lists is making you ridiculously giddy right now. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to hosting. And nowhere does it say a host absolutely must do this thing/act this way/have this skill/etc. But being aware of who you are and what your strengths and personality have to offer as a host, will give you the right tools to better equip you to be the best host you can be.

You also really need to know your schedule tendencies. I know my schedule builds up FAST and that I can’t put together a gathering in under a week (and honestly I wouldn’t want to). So I know in order for me to commit to hosting, I need to make a plan for several weeks out, but any further than 3 weeks out will be just impossible to schedule, much less stick to. Just like how I thought scheduling my wisdom teeth surgery months in advance on a seemingly harmless week was a good idea, until that week finally came and I had 12 million other things I needed to do and the timing couldn’t have been worse. It may have nothing to do with party planning but it’s a lesson that definitely still applies! Maybe your schedule is the opposite and the only way to ensure something happens is to schedule it months out. Or maybe you know you’re always busy during the summer so the fall or spring would be a better time to plan a gathering. 

But truly, it’s not enough to just know your schedule, being realistic about the amount of energy you have (or will have) is key. My energy levels get very drained during the week, and by the time work is over, the last thing I want to do is more work. So I typically try to host my events on a Sunday! That way I have time over the weekend to run errands and prep. Even if I have other plans on Saturday, if I have the whole day Sunday to leisurely get the party setup then I’ll have plenty of energy leftover to host. But for you, your weeknights might be much more free than your weekends! So maybe hosting a gathering on a Friday night and prepping all throughout the week would be best for your schedule. Or maybe you’re an early bird type and can get your best work done before getting ready for the day. Do you have a time of year that always drains your energy, like the hot days of summer or the chaos of the holidays? Knowing how much energy you’ll have leading up to a gathering can mean the difference between a fun Christmas party with an inviting atmosphere and festive conversation vs a Christmas party that looks thrown together at the last minute with a host who feels obligated to host instead of energized by the gathering.

Ultimately, spending time thinking about yourself and your energy schedule, is all about finding ways to capitalize on the skills you already have! And I promise you, you have skills that will contribute to being a great host! If you can really pull focus on those things, then that’s what your guests will remember and focus on as well. Even if you majorly “fail” in another area, you’ll have your own strengths to fall back on. Every person has their own strengths and personality (hello that’s what makes the world go round) which means every person can bring their own strengths and personality to the hosting game. Knowing what you bring to the table (literally and figuratively) and what your schedule and energy levels are like, means you will be a great host. Because truly I can’t stress this enough: the host sets the tone for the party. Every time. If you are stressed and exhausted, then your guests will feel that way too. If you tried to host something out of your wheelhouse and it’s not going as planned, your guests will pick up on that instead of just laughing it off with you. So if you are focusing on the things that really make you shine, everyone else will not only feel that, they will be able to take that with them when they leave. And then they will focus on their own strengths that make them shine and the confident hosting bug will spread.