Why Virtual Connection Is Important + 7 Steps To Make It Intentional

In this new age of COVID-19 we are all learning to adapt. Adapting to new ways of teaching school, cooking our meals, spending most of our days indoors, finding new ways to entertain ourselves, etc. But what I’ve loved witnessing and learning the most, are adapting new ways of connecting to each other.

The importance of connection hasn’t gone away. In fact, I’d argue that now it’s more important than ever. The negative effects of isolation are very real, and even if you’re surrounded by a house full of family members or roommates, you can still feel isolated and lonely. So how do we combat a time of isolation with no announced end date? We connect. 

Anyone can gather people together, that’s the easy part. But what sets any ole gathering apart from an intentional gathering is connection. When you are intentional about your gathering, a byproduct will inevitably be connection. Because, like I said in this post, intentional gatherings are all about putting some thought into your gathering. When you’ve been thoughtful about your gathering, even a virtual one, guests are easily able to understand the purpose of the gathering, which helps to form a subtle bond among them. And as this bond grows people feel more comfortable to be vulnerable, and deeper conversations and connections start to take place. And after your 10th Zoom call repeating the same spiel about your new (and yet already old) Corona-related reality, it’s easy to see how a deeper conversation and authentic connection is something we all REALLY miss.

Below are the steps to host an intentional virtual gathering that creates connection!

Step 1. Be mindful of your energy
Now more than ever, it is important that you are honest with yourself about how you are feeling. Our new schedules are draining us in ways our bodies and minds are not used to, which means our hosting energy may also not be what we’re used to. And that’s ok (we are experiencing a global pandemic afterall), but just like in-person gatherings you as the host will set the tone for your gathering. So being mindful of your energy, schedule, and mental health, especially in these new and difficult times, is important to field before you begin.

Step 2. Think about who you are inviting
Next think about who you want to gather together. Do you want to connect with family or friends, neighbors or coworkers, etc.? Different groups call for different approaches to gathering, so being clear on who will be attending will help you create an atmosphere of connection more easily.

Step 3. Think about why are you throwing this virtual gathering
Now set a purpose for your gathering. No purpose is too big or too small! It can be simple and just because you miss your friends or more elaborate like celebrating a couple who had to postpone their wedding. Once you know why you are throwing your gathering, you can use the answer to guide you through the entire gathering!

Step 4. Think about how you can fulfill that purpose
This is the fun part. Think about all the ways your purpose can be executed. Do you need a theme or will it be a casual get-together? Are there guidelines or rules everyone should follow (like everyone wears a certain color or makes a fun cocktail)? Will conversation questions help guide the gathering or is curating a specific playlist important? Even if it’s subtle, this is how you create opportunities for connection. 

Step 5. Plan it like you weren’t in quarantine
Start planning your gathering as if it were happening in-person. If this gathering were happening under normal pre-COVID circumstances, how would it look? Would there be music playing when guests walked in? Would it be an intimate indoor dinner you cooked or a casual outdoor potluck? If it were a shower, would there be games or presents or cake? All these things matter! This is the part people often skip over when planning a virtual gathering because they think it should just be planned in a virtual context. But we’ve been planning in-person gatherings for a lifetime, that’s what we know. And there’s no reason why we have to throw away that skill just because we have a new context.

Step 6. Adapt your plan to go virtual
Now take that in-person plan, and adapt it to a virtual space. Just like we said earlier, we are all learning to adapt in this new COVID world, and figuring out how to adapt our gatherings is no different. If you would typically have this gathering outside, can you have your guests sit outside, or have everyone choose a virtual outdoor background, or play a nature playlist filled with bird and cricket chirps? If you would normally cook the main dish, could you send everyone a simple recipe ahead of time so everyone eats the same meal together? Can you send your guests a list of conversation questions or custom bingo cards to play? This is the time to be creative. This is a new way of gathering and no one expects it to be exactly like it would be in-person. But you can use that foundation to form the same type of connections virtually!

Step 7. Communicate your vision to your guests
Lastly, be clear with your guests about your expectations for the gathering. This is where most virtual gatherings break down and the opportunities for connection are lost. Especially because this is a new type of gathering, your guests will be looking to you for guidance and instruction (also they aren’t mind readers). So create guidelines or a structure for your gathering, and relay it to your guests (ideally when you invite them, but anytime before you start the gathering will be helpful). Maybe it’s explaining how the gathering will go or what they should do ahead of time. It could be a specific meal to make or location of their home to meet from. Whatever it is, letting your guests know what to expect ahead of time will mean there is less confusion during your gathering, which means there is more time for connection!

All of these steps are built to foster connection, because that’s what we as a community are longing for in these days of endless binge watching and solo dinners. After all, social distancing really just means physician distancing, the social part hasn’t gone away. We just have to take the social part and be intentional in how we adapt it into new ways of connecting :)